Now that the COVID-19 coronavirus has sprung loose and infected countries all over the world, the communist dictator of China – Xi “Jussie” Jinping – has a very important message for
everyone. It’s not his fault. The coronavirus was caused by a couple of white guys in MAGA hats, and not by Chinese people eating weird stuff in Wuhan, China.
The Chinese government has even gone so far as to claim that President Trump sent the US Army to China to spread the coronavirus all over their tasty bat soup, their pangolin fricassee and their hushed puppies. Yeah. Because Trump’s a real biological warfare kind of guy.
If any nation was messing around with a potential biological pandemic weapon and accidentally let it get out, which one more likely caused it: The one with a germophobe president, or the one with a megalomaniacal communist dictator who believes that his people are the earth’s Master Race?
Anyway, if we were inclined to do so, we would give China’s coronavirus claims “Four Pinocchio’s.” But we’re not going to do that. Because Italy has enough problems of its own right now with the CHINESE VIRUS, so we won’t culturally appropriate their beloved fictional wooden puppet boy just to score a cheap goal against Jussie Jinping.