Greenpeace Protester Interrupts Soccer Game with Help of Big Oil

You’ve probably seen the news already that an environmentalist wacko parachuted into a soccer game and the “security snipers” at the arena nearly blasted the guy. And if you’re a true American, we already know exactly what you were thinking when you heard this story:

“Oh, right… soccer exists. Yuck!”

What a dumb stunt! Parachuting into a soccer match for an environmental protest is pretty much the equivalent of preaching to the choir, isn’t it? There’s a 0.0% chance that any conservatives were actually watching a soccer game and could thus be persuaded by this guy’s protest.

If any conservative had actually been watching the game and saw this guy parachuting in, they would have thought, “Thank heavens! Something vaguely interesting has interrupted this stultifying three-hour boredom festival that’s going to result in an inevitable zero-to-zero tie!”

Seriously, this meme is more creative and interesting than any soccer game in the history of the universe. It is kind of ironic and hilarious that virtually everything used by this guy for his little green stunt is made from petroleum products. Please, parachute guy, tell us more! And take your time while explaining your wacko environmentalist argument to us, because… it’s still more interesting than soccer!


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