Cole Tomas Allen rolled up to the White House Correspondents’ Dinner on April 25th armed with a 12-gauge pump shotgun, a .38 caliber pistol, two knives, four daggers, and enough extra ammo to start a small war — all because he wanted to kill President Trump. Secret Service agents exchanged gunfire with him. He’s now charged with attempting to assassinate the President of the United States. And a federal judge in Washington, DC just looked this man in the eye and said, “I’m sorry.”
Not sorry that Allen tried to murder the President. Sorry that *jail wasn’t comfortable enough for him.* Welcome to the DC justice system, folks.
U.S. Magistrate Judge Zia Faruqui held a hearing on Monday because he had “grave concerns” about how Allen was being treated at the DC jail. Apparently, the guy who showed up to a black-tie dinner with a shotgun and a death wish was placed on suicide watch. He was kept in a safe cell. He was put in five-point restraints. He couldn’t make phone calls. He couldn’t have visitors outside his lawyers.
The horror! A would-be presidential assassin had to sit in a cell by himself! Somebody call Amnesty International!
Judge Faruqui told Allen — and we’re quoting here — “Whatever you’ve been through, I apologize for that now.” He apologized at the *beginning* of the hearing. Then he apologized again at the *end* of the hearing, just in case Allen didn’t feel sufficiently coddled the first time around.
But wait — it gets better. The judge then dragged January 6th defendants into it. Faruqui said he’s handled “scores” of January 6th cases, and that Allen’s treatment was worse than anything those defendants experienced. “I never heard of one Jan. 6 defendant who was put in five-point restraints or in a safe cell,” the judge said.
Now hold on a second. We all remember what happened to the January 6th defendants. Many of them sat in that same DC jail for *months* in solitary confinement. Some of them were denied medical treatment. Some reported being beaten. The government threw the book at grandmothers who walked through velvet ropes. But NOW — when the guy in the cell actually tried to *shoot the President* — NOW this judge discovers his conscience about jail conditions?
Funny how that works.
Let’s talk about who Cole Tomas Allen actually is, since the judge seems to think he’s some kind of victim. Allen is a 31-year-old Caltech engineering graduate from Torrance, California. He was honored as “Teacher of the Month” at C2 Education back in December 2024 — so, you know, a real pillar of the community. He also donated to Kamala Harris’s presidential campaign through ActBlue. He left behind a written manifesto stating he wanted to target Trump administration officials. Then he drove across the country with a trunk full of weapons and tried to storm past Secret Service barricades at the Washington Hilton.
But sure, Judge Faruqui, the real tragedy here is that he couldn’t get a Bible fast enough.
(Oh yeah — the judge also ordered the jail to hand Allen a Bible after his defense attorney mentioned he’d been asking for one. One “kind” guard had apparently been sharing scripture with him. Touching. Maybe they can start a book club.)
Here’s what’s actually happening. A DC magistrate judge — the same court system that gleefully locked up January 6th protestors and threw away the key — is now publicly wringing his hands because an attempted presidential assassin had a rough week in jail. He’s not troubled by the fact that Allen showed up to kill the President with enough hardware to arm a platoon. He’s troubled by the *restraints.*
“To me, it’s extremely disturbing that he was put in five-point restraints, a person with no criminal history,” Faruqui said.
No criminal history. Right. His criminal history started when he opened fire on Secret Service agents while trying to murder the leader of the free world. That’s kind of a big first entry on the rap sheet, Your Honor.
We watched for four years as the Biden DOJ hunted down every single person who set foot near the Capitol on January 6th. They used facial recognition, cell phone tracking, FBI tip lines, and neighbor snitches to round up hundreds of Americans — many of whom never committed a single act of violence. Those people got solitary. Those people got denied bail. Those people got the full weight of the federal government dropped on their heads.
And nobody — not one single federal judge in DC — apologized to any of them.
But a Kamala donor with a shotgun and a manifesto? That guy gets a judicial apology and a Bible delivery.
If you ever needed proof that the DC court system operates on a two-tier justice standard, Judge Faruqui just handed it to you gift-wrapped with a bow on top. Try to kill a Republican president? Poor baby, are the restraints too tight? Walk through the Capitol wearing a MAGA hat? Rot in solitary, you domestic terrorist.
These people aren’t even pretending anymore.