Another day, another Disney disaster.
The long-dreaded Snow White remake — lovingly dubbed “Snow Woke” — just belly-flopped into box office history with a humiliating $43 million domestic opening. That makes it the worst opening of any Disney live-action remake ever, including 2019’s Dumbo, which at least managed $46 million. Ouch.
Worse still, that Dumbo number was in pre-Bidenomics dollars. Adjusted for inflation, Snow Woke is lagging behind an elephant in clown makeup. And before anyone tries blaming “audience fatigue,” let’s not forget that the original Cinderella was 65 years old when Disney remade it in 2015 — and that one pulled a $68 million opening. So no, it’s not the age. It’s the agenda.
Globally, things aren’t looking any better. Snow Woke was projected to limp to $100 million this weekend, but it couldn’t even pull that off. The latest tally? A pitiful $87 million worldwide. With a bloated production budget of $270 million (not including the marketing splurge), this one’s on track to lose hundreds of millions.
Call it a win for accountability.
The corporate media lapdogs are already hard at work running interference. The latest excuse? Apparently, Snow White just isn’t “relevant” anymore. It’s the classic “she’s just too old” defense. Because surely, it had nothing to do with Rachel Zegler sneering at the original film, mocking Prince Charming, and proudly announcing that her Snow White would be a sword-wielding feminist who doesn’t need saving.
Nope, it was definitely the movie’s age — not the obnoxious cast or the ideological mutilation of a beloved fairytale.
If you’re wondering why Little Mermaid still managed to open to $95 million despite the controversy, the answer is simple: it had some nostalgic goodwill, no Zegler-like star detonating the marketing, and it still looked like the story parents remembered. Snow Woke, on the other hand, was a lecture wrapped in glitter — and Americans are sick of paying for the privilege of being insulted.
Disney’s cultural crusade continues to torch its bottom line. But hey, at least Bob Iger gets to feel morally superior while the House of Mouse burns to the ground.
